Beauty farms work wonders on the human frame, but they don't come cheap. Here is our do-it-yourself version of what the rich shell out a fortune for: a weekly beauty routine that costs no more than a night at the movies.

Photo: Pretty Tips50 tips on how to be pretty

The object is to spoil yourself rotten and emerge cleansed, relaxed, uplifted, and beautiful. All you need is a bathrobe, exercise clothes, some beauty products and tempting diet food. Tell the family you're out of action. Then go ahead: pamper yourself.

8.00 Breakfast

Diet food should be delicious and between 900 and 1000 calories per day. Breakfast is: Half small rockmelon or honeydew, with lemon juice: two small crispbread biscuits with sliced tomato; black tea or coffee. Calories 200.

9.00 - 9.30 Exercises

Change into shorts for morning exercises. If you are not in shape don't overdo it. Stop when you feel tired.

9.30 - 10.00 Tidying Up

Tune to FM radio or put on your favorite record, spray the air with a delicate scent. Shave legs and underarms. Shape eyebrows. Sit in a comfortable chair with your feet up. Lean back and brush hair gently 100 strokes. Massage a cream conditioner through the hair. Skip the conditioner if your hair is oily but massage the scalp just the same. Wrap head in a bath towel.

10.00 - 10.30 Facial

Wring out a soft cloth in warm water, apply to the face and leave until cool. Repeat five times. Massage lace and neck with cleansing lotion. Begin at base of the neck and massage upward to chin with back of hand, first left then right.

Next, stroke from under chin to the cheeks, then across the cheeks, then down the nose. Massage forehead from brow to hairline with lips of fingers. With index finger very gently massage under eyes from the outside to the inside: lids from inside to outside. Tissue off cleansing lotion and rinse face with cool water. Pat face with a cotton ball soaked in astringent (for oily skin) or refresher (for normal to dry skin) to close pores. Apply moisturizer to face and throat.

10.30 - 11.00 Homemade Bubble Bath With Essential Oils

Run a deep warm bath and add scented bath oil. Cover your eyes with cotton pads soaked in witch hazel and slip down into the warm water until it covers your shoulders. Lean back and relax for 20 minutes. The steamy warmth will help the moisturizing cream penetrate your face.

Towel the body dry, put on a bathrobe and relax with black tea or coffee. Slice of lemon and sugar substitute can be added.

11.15 - 12.15 Face Time

Masks tone and revive tired skin. Choose one to suit your skin type. A good rule of thumb, clay base for oily skin; moisturized for dry skin; peel off for normal skin. Apply according to package directions. Lie down in a dim room with feet up. Cover the eyes with cotton pads soaked in witch hazel and rest for 20 minutes. Rinse or peel off mask and smooth on moisturizer.

1.00 - 2.30 Lunch and Break

Drain a 125g can salmon, spoon over 1 teaspoon vinegar or lemon juice. Serve with lettuce, cucumber and tomato salad; toss in 2 teaspoons low calorie salad dressing. Follow with tea or coffee. 300 calories.

After lunch read or relax. Stay in your bathrobe for the afternoon beauty treatments.

2.30 - 4.30 Time to Experiment

Take a rest period for an hour: soak up the sun for a short period or write a letter. Sip a glass of fresh grapefruit juice or soda-water laced with lemon juice. Now for your face. Set out your full kit of cosmetics: foundation, blusher, loose powder, eye-shadow, mascara, liner, lipgloss, tissues and cotton wool. Take a clipping of a look you have admired in a magazine and experiment until you have achieved the desired effect.

4.30 - 5.45 Relax then Dress

Put on a full-length shift ready for dinner and cover hair with a scarf tied into a turban. (Your hair is still full of conditioner).

5.45 - 6.00 Cocktails

Prepare a Bloody Mary (without the vodka). Mix a few drops of tabasco sauce with ground black pepper into a glass of well-chilled tomato juice. Add 1 teaspoon of lemon juice and a few drops of angostura bitters. Calories: 50. Set out an assortment of raw vegetables - celery, carrot, radishes, cauliflower, fresh mushrooms. Serve with Cottage Cheese Dip. Press 1 cup cottage cheese through sieve; add and mix together 1 tablespoon finely chopped chives, 1 teaspoon grated onion, 2 tablespoons chopped parsley, ½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper.

6.00 - 8.00 Dinner

4oz grilled fish, such as bream or whiting, with lemon; serve with broccoli and green salad. Slice of fresh pawpaw for dessert. Tea or coffee. Calories: 310.

8.00 - 8.30 Evening Exercises

Repeat morning exercises.

8.30 - 9.00 Bedtime Routine

Cleanse face. Massage the body with body lotion then go to bed. Flip through a magazine. Lights out.

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